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Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, and they’re spectacular. http://t.co/rJNCGU9GhH

36,812 Following   45,974,498 Followers   10,803 Tweets

Joined Twitter 8/14/08

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The bags have eyes. http://t.co/1cj9iNL8gpHappy birthday, @MarthaStewart! I made you an apron using only leftover bakery string, a paper plate and a gourd from my garden.
8/3
2015
Thanks for tweeting. If you wanna write a rap about it too, I wouldn’t say no to that. https://t.co/JOajQCy2DiThere’s nothing sweeter than a little kitten http://t.co/umJlHx0pvn
7/31
2015
If you’re as outraged as I am about Cecil the lion, let’s do something. Help the Humane Society protect African lions http://t.co/Rk7nVGaJyNKeep cool. Look cool. http://t.co/qZgupPMglF http://t.co/iFtV7HVC7T
7/30
2015
Happy birthday, @jeannieeeee! You’re more than just a receptionist. You also make wonderful Oreo peanut butter brownies.The story of Cecil the lion is devastating. I hope everyone as outraged as I am turns it into a commitment to change. Animals deserve better
7/29
2015
#MondayMotivation http://t.co/kEqRgr7j1k
7/27
2015
Happy birthday, Sandra Bullock and @MickJagger! I hope you’re both celebrating together. At a Ruby Tuesday.
7/26
2015
Happy birthday, @JLo! Actress. Singer. Mother. Entrepreneur. Humanitarian. Fly Girl.
7/24
2015
Happy #ThrowbackThursday #TBT http://t.co/IBbXFTGH0KIt’s Christmas in July on @QVC tonight, 7pm ET. See my line and join the fun. http://t.co/ObzljEs7QQ
7/23
2015
Ambrose Jones, you killed it tonight on #LastComicThat’s one lucky couch. http://t.co/ohWa4sYJk5They're always here for you. Or your Uber driver. https://t.co/b2hlNhhWMmHappy #YoureWelcomeWednesday http://t.co/8RpSAtToaH
7/22
2015
Someone watching my show this week is coming to my 12 Days of Giveaways! Find out more, here. #12DaysOfSummer http://t.co/53TzcNmQjn
7/21
2015
Only 2 more days to send your @Nest video and win a trip to my show! I can’t wait to see what your kids are up to. http://t.co/QWQPGfMu6L#MondayMotivation http://t.co/k7fdUxgBF6
7/20
2015
Happy birthday, @LukeBryanOnline! You sure are good Lukin’.
7/17
2015
There’s nothing better than a hug from a furry friend. Even better if it’s an animal. http://t.co/6RXiBceIa0 http://t.co/i8fRe3iittHappy #ThrowbackThursday #TBT http://t.co/2XjVoYCXIz
7/16
2015
Happy birthday, @CarbajalPhoto. I hope today inspires you as much as you inspire me.Happy #YoureWelcomeWednesday http://t.co/VBzNib7gwY
7/15
2015
Happy birthday, @JaneMarieLynch! This is still one of my favorite moments from the show. http://t.co/ctRr42LRzw
7/14
2015
#MondayMotivation http://t.co/zqxHGCF3tf
7/13
2015
What do you call 8 rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line. #ClassicJokeFridayHappy birthday, @SofiaVergara! Sus zapatos son más verdes que Tarzán. I learned that just for you.
7/10
2015
Now, for a limited time, you can shop ED by Ellen on Twitter! How tweet it is. http://t.co/c8e16rTI66Happy #ThrowbackThursday #TBT http://t.co/VKJT8r0r0pThere’s nothing better than a great vacation photo. But these are good, too. http://t.co/VlxXxRZuKi http://t.co/Sc4rp15jOh
7/9
2015
These girls take their Aretha Franklin seriously. http://t.co/cXdGIVfms1Happy #YoureWelcomeWednesday http://t.co/XVwfQNDXAGThank you for all the love and support for http://t.co/FHnZxiTVZf. If you get anything, post a photo!
7/8
2015
This week, someone's winning $50K. As in thousand. As in five zero. As in 8 more than 42. Watch my show & win! http://t.co/IdNgJvil1i
7/7
2015
Who's ready for a spa day? http://t.co/V94ILTkA0z#MondayMotivation http://t.co/PM8wOUes4p
7/6
2015
That's my game! Clearly this is why you won. #USWNT https://t.co/3DpGXQgrYmWe're the champions! Congrats to #USWNT & Japan on an amazing game. And now the Golden Globes are next? I thought those were in January.10 minutes in and my score keeping hand is already tired. Go #USWNT! #USAvJPN
7/5
2015
Happy 4th of July! I hope you take this time to celebrate one of the most important things about being an American – 3-day weekends.
7/4
2015
Time for a cat nap. Happy #CatPhotoFriday http://t.co/JdxUpmzyCkWhy is @Meghan_Trainor great at playing shortstop? She’s all about that base. #ClassicJokeFriday
7/3
2015
Happy #ThrowbackThursday #TBT http://t.co/TP9k948QTaHave ya checked out http://t.co/FHnZxiTVZf yet? Do it now! That conference call can wait 5 minutes. They’re probably not all on yet anyway.My Watch and Win this week is $25k! Don’t thank me. Thank @MattressFirm. #LaughDancePartner http://t.co/8TnWsCgC7IIf you love lions as much as I do, I hope you’ll support this movie. #BloodLions http://t.co/GIeUrLPmHS
7/2
2015
Also super excited for @TheEllenShow for her new launch.... http://t.co/TKnwHICAqB. 👏👏👏
Retweeted by Ellen DeGenereshttp://t.co/1aaguuMYkl congrats on the new line @theellenshow !!! ☁️
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresSo that’s how it works. http://t.co/zuxHufpejkThis story could have a happy ending, with our help. Sending love to #CharlotteandGwenyth http://t.co/SXuLvigfeREdbyellen polo in red! Ellen hopped into my picture wearing her Edbyellen http://t.co/t22JFgDAAn
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresLOVE my new ED polo shirt!! http://t.co/H7lKxNj2vY http://t.co/JHlxAViCG3
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresWatch my cousins @CarrinoAnthony & @ColaneriJohn of @CousinsTV new show #AMDK today at 8pET @hgtv (I’m sure we’re related somehow)#MagicMikeXXL opens today! Don’t miss #MagicNickTheGardener #MagictWitch http://t.co/Wdnh627f50.@official_tWitch is breaking down some magic moves from #MagicMikeXXL http://t.co/SB6djkntvO
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresHappy #YoureWelcomeWednesday http://t.co/SuGRGLAdV0Woo hoo! Congrats on your new collection @TheEllenShow. http://t.co/ZspCu3hsgT #EDbyEllen xo k-dub
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresIt’s National #CanadaDay! I can’t believe how few people in the US know it. As if I dressed up as a Mountie for no reason.I can't wait for you to feel the fabric. I know you're a material girl. https://t.co/8q18hgBmE8Happy birthday, @MissyElliott! In your own wise words, “izyer fremedipin flanyacoma.”
7/1
2015
We're going to the finals! #USWNT #USAvGERYou're always an inspiration to me @TheEllenShow. Congrats on your new clothing line http://t.co/uKL1AGJs6N!
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresMy girl @TheEllenShow has a new clothing line http://t.co/RiTUXeZ645. Sharing her style w/the world. Who doesn't want a little Ellen on you?
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresCongrats Aaron White! You’re this week's Epic or Fail winner! $100 gift card! Don’t forget to send yours to ellentube http://t.co/DFVjyzLOSKI love supporting inspiring women doing their thing! Congrats @TheEllenShow on your new clothing line http://t.co/OKkO0dTlRn
Retweeted by Ellen DeGeneresMy clothing line http://t.co/FHnZxjbwQN is finally here! I hope you love it as much as I do. https://t.co/FmHfNeSZJz
6/30
2015
Everyone in my house is gearing up for the big http://t.co/FHnZxjbwQN launch tomorrow! https://t.co/JdYb2g2CCD#MondayMotivation http://t.co/dWiJT1LnMN
6/29
2015
Any purchase in the Ellen Shop means you could win 2 tickets to my show! I like those odds. http://t.co/F2cmxxBJqK http://t.co/G774LqzJvUHappy birthday, @KelliePickler! Every year, you just get sweeter and funnier and pickler.
6/28
2015
If this cat photo doesn’t belong on my Good Things Tumblr, I don’t know what does. http://t.co/gV61JnCtX2 http://t.co/tEgr8I1YjVMy new clothing line, ED by Ellen, launches on Tuesday! Until then, you can check out our Instagram page. http://t.co/aAOuoAwbpdLove won. #MarriageEquality
6/26
2015
Happy #ThrowbackThursday #TBT http://t.co/FLozJyHxvp#TBT to that time you invited me to be in Ghostbusters. https://t.co/g6CjKceOmOSketchShe strikes again. Hammer time. http://t.co/gS6WyEcqvMHappy birthday, @RickyGervais. Thank you for all you do for animals. They asked me to write this tweet to you.
6/25
2015
Happy #YoureWelcomeWednesday! http://t.co/qlFLK5wqA1There are lots of kittens at Best Friends Animal Society this month. Find out how you can help them right here. http://t.co/tGeoCTs8XJFor everyone wanting to know, Tayt made it through the surgery. I’m sending a lot of love to the family of his donor. #TaytsWish
6/24
2015
.@jimmyjustsayin & @swimapril2014 won my hashtag contest! That means their #NewOlympicEvent ideas will be in the 2016 Olympics! Probably.Y’all had some wonderful ideas for a #NewOlympicEvent. I’ll let the committee know. http://t.co/2JjCVbEMebTayt is getting a new heart today. Please send all of your hopes and prayers that this surgery goes well. #TaytsWish http://t.co/GIlbblGHPBIf you’re looking for something wonderful to do on August 1st, I found it. http://t.co/aurhyC9qBwThey’ve got great acceleration, but the traction on the turns is a little iffy http://t.co/h05N10beFkHappy birthday, @Jason_Mraz. You’re a wonderful mrusician and a wonderful mran.Think of your favorite music from a movie. Odds are it was composed by James Horner. What an incredible talent. What an incredible loss.We’re getting close to the launch of ED by Ellen! But for now, you can follow on Instagram! http://t.co/ptKiIX5A5f
6/23
2015
There are 8 nominations for new Olympic events. I wanna hear yours. Tweet me your #NewOlympicEvent ideas for this week's hashtag contest!I sent my writer Adam to CatCon. It’s a convention for people who are crazy about cats, & some who are just crazy. http://t.co/zcfLcVtM1wThanks to @MattressFirm, someone's winning $15K by watching my show! Sounds like a good gig to me #LaughDancePartner http://t.co/dca9c5UsJkIt’s Meryl Streep’s birthday! She’s been nominated for an Oscar 19 times. That’s as many times as I’ve watched Devil Wears Prada. This week.This is the most intense game of chicken I’ve ever seen. http://t.co/49ItFcvLzm
6/22
2015
.@Prattprattpratt, you’re in the biggest movie in the world, it’s your birthday and it's Father’s Day. Congratulations. Today is yours.Happy Father’s Day! I hope you take a photo just like these. http://t.co/H26eustdYLEasy like Sunday morning. http://t.co/WQLoxFtgfq
6/21
2015
Jon Stewart's monologue about Charleston is so powerful and I can't watch it enough. https://t.co/9BetVYD4uN
6/20
2015
It’s #ClassicJokeFriday! http://t.co/zmNINI0qwS
6/19
2015
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