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If you take anything I say on Twitter seriously, you have too much time on your hands. NEON ALIENS ATE MY HOMEWORK available wherever books are sold.

4,722 Following   5,093,746 Followers   17,707 Tweets

Joined Twitter 1/27/09

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Pollution from power plants causes 52,000 premature deaths a year. Support the #cleanpowerplan and #ActOnClimateI'm a Real New Yorker because…I'm not going to tell you here! Watch my Snapple vid to find out #LoveSnapple #Ad
tune in to @MTV2 now for an all new episode of #WildNOut with #PlatinumSquad captain @DeJLoaf!!!!an all new episode of #WildNOut is less than 15 minutes away on @MTV2Here’s to many more years of @nbcagt! Love this show. Can’t wait to get to @RadioCity in less than two weeks!Yooo, I still don’t know how @KenichiEbina dances like that. I got moves, but I ain’t got moves like DAT! #AGT10JUAN CARLOS IS EVERYTHANG!!!!! #AGT10Of cooourse @HowardStern loves this Jackass ball-kicking act. Offfff courseeeeeeee. Ain’t no one kicking #NickCannon in the balls! #AGT10RETWEET to help me show gratitude to the crew of @nbcagt! They work their butts off to bring you GREAT TV!
Retweeted by Nick CannonI forgot how touching @JaycobCurlee’s story was. Beautiful moment adopting him into the AGT family. #AGT10.@TaylorComedy and @heidiklum sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G and probably more off camera! #AGT10#SheRatchet! @EP_Hudson and @DustinsDojo were hysterical. RETWEET if you agree. #AGT10I get it, @piersmorgan! @howiemandel LOVES to be annoying!!! #AGT10I don’t know what was more touching… @heidiklum kissing the pig or @HowardStern and that crying child… #AGT10😂😂😂😜😜😜 thanks for being @HowieMandel's bodyguard! the Mime!! Hahahahaha I had so much fun scaring you guys… @OfficialMelB @heidiklum @HowardStern @howiemandel! Gotchya! #AGT10Sometimes these contestants need a lesson in respect. Or a spanking!! Haaaa! #AGT10Aw, what a cute pick, @piersmorgan! Look at you being a softie for @itskevinskinner! #AGT10What do y’all think about @OfficialMelB’s pick? I love @MatFrancoMagic! Can’t wait for his upcoming special. #AGT10Howie, you're one of the greatest comedians to ever exist! Love you bro! #AGT10, I’m always there to help out an act, but dang! I’ve been through some crazy #$%^ on this show. #AGT10Congrats on killing it in Vegas, @terryfator! Nice to see you back on the show. #AGT10Shout out to our past judges @PiersMorgan @4everBrandy @DavidHasselhoff and @MrsSOsbourne! We wouldn’t be here without you all! #AGT10I'm thankful for my job hosting @nbcagt, so many memories. The cast and crew are family, and we are so grateful for your love. #AGT10!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- that excited. 5 MINUTES until #AGT10 MY PEOPLE AT!? Talk to me! *noticed you* #AGT 10 @nbcagt that frown upside down! Live positive, not negative my friend! #AGT10 for Season 11 start in just a few days! I'm serious! I think the website is!'s been one of the best, right yo?! @RadioCity is going to be rockin! really think you can count that high? #AGT10 much talent! From @jackieevancho to @MatFrancoMagic to @CollinsKey! #AGT10's chat! RETWEET and REPLY for a shoutout! #AGT10 @nbcagtSee what happens when you try #PlatinumSquad team captain @DefLoaf tonight at 11p on #WildNOut! #nonstopsummer
Retweeted by Nick CannonRETWEET for a follow! #AGT10at8.@NBCAGT celebrates 10 years of talent tonight! #AGT10at8 Ditch Fridays
✌🏿🇺🇸Thank you @MarlonWayans for being our guest judge man…now finish buttoning up your shirt! #JudgeCutsMy man! @BentonBlount made it to @RadioCity Music Hall! Congrats! #JudgeCutsAnimation Crew just advanced to live shows! #JudgeCuts.@ItsTripleThreat hits the big stage at @RadioCity this summer! #JudgeCuts.@MtnFaithBand is the next act moving on to live shows! #JudgeCuts.@radionovavida made it to @RadioCity! #JudgeCuts.@OzPearlman is going to live shows! Send some love!West Coast Spoilers ahead… #JudgeCutsRETWEET if you want @BentonBlount at @RadioCity Live shows! #AGTI bet @BentonBlount doesn’t know how much America already loves him! #AGTThis girl is bending in ways I’ve NEVER seen before! #AGT*pauses to remember @ShaniaTwain’s leopard jumpsuit*Everyone is singing along…don’t lie…MAN I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN! @ShaniaTwain needs to come to @nbcagt!FINALLY I’M NOT BEING PICKED ON BY @HOWARDSTERN FOR BEING SINGLE!Talent is TALENT even if it’s a style of music you don’t like! Great job @MtnFaithBand!Curves and personality are beautiful! Y’all agree?RETWEET IF YOU A BIG GIRL....OR A DUDE WHO LIKES THE BIG GIRLS! @NBCAGT #AGT.@OzPearlman you continue to blow. my. mind.#GoldenBuzzer for @PaulZerdin!!!!!!!!.@PaulZerdin is N-CRED-I-BLE #AGTHow do you spell ventriloquism? Is that right? AUTOCORRECT!!! #AGTRETWEET if you want @MrJohnnyShelton at live shows! #JudgeCutsIsOnY’all. This @MirandaLambert song is legit. Makes ya wanna go back home. #AGTMan. Losing a child has to be a nightmare. Thanks for coming to our stage @MrJohnnyShelton. #JudgeCutsHey @MarlonWayans, I know this isn’t #ICanDoThat so it’s okay if you need a nap.The doll has no head but this dude’s crotch is balancing on her neck. #ThingsWhitePeopleDoThis dude is dancing on a doll that’s wearing his wifes dress. #ThingsWhitePeopleDoRETWEET to show me ❤️ #JudgeCuts (seriously, please retweet, I'm waiting)
Retweeted by Nick CannonI LOVE YOU @HOWIEMANDEL!RETWEET if you want Animation Crew at @RadioCity! #JudgeCutsIsOnAnimation Crew is siiiiiiiiiick!RETWEET if you want @ItsTripleThreat to be at LIVE SHOWS! #JudgeCutsIsOnTHIS WHITE KID RAPPIN COULD BE ON #WILDNOUT…ya killin it @ItsTripleThreat!I could make an @ArianaGrande donut licking joke right now for @ItsTripleThreat but… #AGTTruth! I’m not that other black guy, I’m not the one who starred in #WhiteChicks! @MarlonWayansLooks like @MarlonWayans is trying to win the fashion game…little does he know HE LOST! #AGTOh we on it now, fam! The greatest talent show on EARTH! #AGTLESS THAN A MINUTE! RUN TO YOUR TV, PEOPLE!!!!! #AGT should do the nae nae on @nbcagt game is ON POINT tonight! Tell dem babies hey! #AGTat8 you for your service and dedication to America! We honor you! THIS for a shoutout! Time to talk to y’all before #AGTat8!I wonder what @HowardStern is doing right now…Some weird $%&! happens on @nbcagt tonight. #AGTat8RETWEET this now and I’ll start following people! #AGTat8.@NBCAGT #JudgeCuts continue tonight with special guest @MarlonWayans! #AGTat8
Dont worry, Temporary pit stop... Sometimes I can be a little too bull headed and stubborn. I gotta… star power on tonight's episode of #WildNOut, with @MACKWILDS and @DJDRAMA heading up the #PlatinumSquad at 11pm on @MTV2
Retweeted by Nick CannonThe homie @otgenasis comes through to rock the #WildNOut stage tonight at 11pm!
Retweeted by Nick Cannon
Next week, tune in and catch my homie @MarlonWayans as our guest judge! #JudgeCuts on @NBCAGT are intense!!Looks like @RadioCity is going to be taken to church! RETWEET if you’re ready for more @SelectedOfGod! #JudgeCutsRETWEET because the next chapter in @Irafbloom’s #AGT love story continues LIVE at @RadioCity! #JudgeCutsRETWEET if you can’t wait to hear @DaniellaMass’ big voice fill @RadioCity LIVE! #JudgeCutsYou did it, @BenYonattan! Send my dude a RETWEET because he’ll be LIVE at @RadioCity! #JudgeCutsRETWEET because @DmnationO will be performing for you LIVE at @RadioCity! Congratulations! #JudgeCutsWho do you want to make it to @RadioCity? Send your predictions RIGHT NOW. #JudgeCutsY'ALL MISS DESTINY’S CHILD SO MUCH!?You better WORK, @SelectedofGod! You will survive! Keep on survivin’! #AGTAw, @HowardStern! That was so sweet! You’re going to bounce back from this, @scottheierman! #AGTPreach, @michaelbuble! We all mess up. That’s what makes us stronger. No one would be here without mistakes! #AGTOh noooooooooooooooo! Heart is breaking! We love you, @scottheierman! Don’t cry! #AGTI LOVE @SCOTTHEIERMAN! #AGT #BeardedLadyWhat do you think happened during @1wordchrisjones’ performance? Why didn’t @michaelbuble fall asleep? #AGTWhat is even happening on our stage right now? #AGT
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